Thursday, August 2, 2007

Adults with Braces

I am turning 32 on Sunday and I have braces.

Recently changing job, insurance and dentists, it was recommended that I have some wisdom teeth pulled. After he did pull them, and while I was on the drugs, I might add, he asked if I would like braces. I have braces. They didn’t work, but it was certainly no big deal. As a matter of fact, it was a bit of a novelty as I remembered.I was excited about the possibility of having braces again as I went for the consultation.

I loved the office staff. I really loved the before and after photos. I loved the plan. I walked out with spacers. Four hours later I was in pain and regretting my initial excitement.

I was chicken and skipped my first appointment to have the braces “installed.” I got my braces on 2 days before my daughters first birthday. I had a house full of people to feed, a huge party to throw, and I hurt so badly, I couldn’t think straight. I called the orthodontist on his cell phone. They were at the airport, going on a trip for the Easter holiday. I told him that I could sleep, eat, think. My nose was numb. My chin was numb. It felt as if I’d had all my teeth pulled. He was sympathetic and said that he would call me in something.

I was thinking something like codeine would be nice.I went to see my uncle, the pharmacist, and asked him how long it would take this to kick in and there was a long pause. “Heather this is just a mouthwash,” he replied with pity in his voice. Do I swishe the stupid mouthwash and continued taking 4 or 5 Tylenol at a time, despite the solemn warnings of the Tylenol employees on their commercials?

My kids were intrigued and wanted to touch my braces. I am in charge of a little information radio station and have to find other people to record, because it that difficult to understand me at times. I miss caramel popcorn. People at the office frequently as my to say, “sufferin’ succotash” for laughs. My husband calls me 16. And I have probably swallowed 20 pounds of wax.

The braces took some getting used to, to say the least.The novelty of having braces wore off quickly. But in just weeks, we could notice dramatic results. I won’t get my braces off until my oldest child is in the first grade. It seems like it will take forever.

But I know that the end result will be worth it – Now all I need are perky breasts and a little red Mustang!

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