One of our church secretaries passed away suddenly about a year ago and I asked the pastor what I could do to help. He told me to “just be.” He says we are human beings not human doings. But if there are "do-ers" and there are "be-ers," I fall definitively into the "do-er" group. I'm wired with an impulse and drive to be at work to have projects and tasks. I'm a list maker, one of those who puts things on the list that are already done just to put a check beside them, and I feel good about myself when I'm productive. I can, at times, drive myself and the people around me crazy! Besides the lack of pause, prayer and compassion for the tired, God has shown me that there's another huge problem with my approach: My significance is to be found in Him alone.
God, in His great Love and mercy, has used times of waiting to realign my values with His. He has taken me through several times when I felt that my life was on an aimless path. I still had dreams and visions, but I didn't feel like I was on track. These were times of forced stillness and quiet.
God has always used those quiet times to whisper, "You are not loved or valued for the things that you do for me. You are loved and valued because I made you. You are mine. Find sufficiency in Me." One such time came when I was reading a Max Lucado children’s book to my Sunday School class, years before I had my own children. The main character in the story searches for the thing that he is good at doing, for his gift. And on his search his meets his maker who reassures him that he is perfect just the way his is. God has faithfully used waiting times to minister to my heart. He has also used it to ruthlessly cut out that love for works that can so easily become idolatrous in my life.
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." - Psalm 130:5
"My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word. My eyes fail, looking for your promise; I say, 'When will you comfort me?'" - Psalm 119:81-82
