I keep in contact with several of my former students. Working at the university makes it easy to run into quite a few of them - so does facebook.com. Yesterday, as I often do, I heard about one of my dear former students, who recently got married. It seems that she's having trouble being a wife. After hearing that sex is taboo for so long it's odd to think that it's all of a sudden alright.
And it's not just with my newly married friends that being sexually intimate seems to be a problem either. I have many friends in the "we have babies at home and man, I'm tired" stage of life. I'm there too! About a year ago I started looking for something to help me put my mind on track with who I needed to be, who I was called to be, for my husband. After much prayer, I ran across quite a few great things, providentially.
The first is a website, a community, called The Generous Wife. The author will even send daily tips to your inbox. It's just a little tidbit reminding you about things you can do to make your husband feel special. For so long -and he still does - Billy gets leftovers. After everyone else is taken care of, he's last in line. Sometimes that's the nature of the business, I understand, but there are things that I can do for him to remind him of who he is for me - for our family. But first I just have to think about him. Add him to "the list" so to speak.
Then yesterday I heard of a new book coming out from Shannon Etheridge, who says, "female sexuality isn’t an embarrassing taboo, but an enriching treasure! Most women today are sexually competent. They know what to do in the bedroom... But I want more than that for you. I want you to be sexually confident.
Sexual confidence isn’t just for the supermodel or porn star. It’s the birthright of every woman, and the deep desire of every husband for his wife. It’s also a valuable legacy that we pass down to our own daughters and granddaughters as they are seeking to understand, embrace, and celebrate their own sexuality within marriage." That is exciting to me - a birthright, really? I'd always heard it talked about like a chore, something to take care of.
On her blog she has a community of women who prove the idea that women want to be the wife they were called to be, but have some obstacles to overcome. Don't we all?
And finally, Today's Christian Woman Online is a get resource to understand how other Christian women feel and cope. It has information about many, many topics. It's helped me to re-focus when I can't seem to see the big picture anymore. When I feel like I must be the only one going through this of having these feelings, it shows me just how many of us struggle with the same things.
I learned that just becasuse it isn't working now, doesn't mean with prayer and understanding that it won't work.